Nothing resonates with my total belief in the sphere of Parenting than the apt submission of a panel member in a seminar I was invited to as a co-discussant on a major topic in the Institution of Family and Parenting. So this panel member rapped up his contributions with the statement ‘Parenting is not natural’ he enjoined every parent present to seek more insights better than what they already know into the world of parenting.
I could not agree further with this because the glitches we see and experience daily in other spheres of influence are a palpable deficiency in the Institution of Parenting and I reminisced all through on this even as I drove home after the event …
We are so familiar with parenting that we wrongly assume we have solutions to the trials, tasks, and tests it brings but we forget so quick that familiarity is an evil patiently waiting at the corner to hurt the great exploits of the mind. So I submit that what becomes familiar to the mind the mind makes a decision to ignore. We have for long ignored the rightful place of parenting in this part of the world.
The major challenge here is the fact that many of us parents have not come to the knowledge of this truth. We deceive ourselves into believing otherwise. I can identify so many reasons why this is so but for space I’d only mention one which is actually the coordinating hub for others – belief system.
Our belief systems are principles of conduct that have lived with us for hundreds of years which are not actually infallible in the real sense of it but by way of culture we unequally yoked with them, and act on them as if they are true or fact.
I must state here nothing in life says we cannot change any beliefs systems that do not bring good result. Beliefs systems are inventions of mortals.
So when an institution as Parenting is not natural. What must every stakeholder do inorder to succeed into significance?
The answer is learning. PARENTING IS NOT NATURAL, BUT LEARNING IS.
Learning is usually defined as acquiring KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS, and ABILITIES by STUDY, EXPERIENCE, or BEING TAUGHT.
So we learn, relearn, and unlearn continuously so as to defeat the some wrong perceptions forced down on us and by this we can act differently, relate differently , and think differently in the reality and fact of today with our precious children.
Learning is natural. It is a way of life that we must yield to by adapting to the dynamism of the day with the right knowledge.
So why must we learn the science and art of parenting?
– To avert the danger of sliding into a state of unconscious incompetence due to our loathness to acquire skills
– It is possible we even know these skills but we are not effectively empowered to apply them or not even good at them.
This at times makes us to get stuck at every critical moment of decisions with our children simply because we do not want to improve. There is a difference between the know and the how of a skill
– Every generation is peculiar and different so also is every child with respect to circumstances, environment, and experiences.
– So how about aspiring to gain mastery in the science and art of parenting? It means you do not just only want to be active but also to get involved, to be proactive, and be pre-emptive.
Let us get in on this journey together it is possible to achieve. We can achieve it, and we deserve to achieve it by making parenting great.