Invasion is defined as a state of invading a country or region with force. The objective of invasion is to conquer, liberate, or re-establishing control or authority over a territory. This is the whole nature of invasion.
From the definition it is obvious what validates invasion is the word force. But for the purpose of this work and for better understanding of the central theme I’d like to introduce us to a new dimension by which invasion derives its strenght and this is done through the power of subtlety called attitude. Yes our attitude. Our body languages, spoken and unspoken words at times speak louder that no one hears a word we say. While majority of us attributes invasion to force quiet few of us have only come to the reality of how strong individual’s attitude can be as an influential weapon of invasion.
How do parents invade? What constitutes invasion in parenting? You’d ask! One of the many qualities the person occupying the office of the parent must have is to know his/her limitations in parenting administration. Regardless the higher office one occupies there are limits. The commonest way by which we unleash our attitude to invade kids lives is through our involvement in the way we perform our oversight functions
I have heard it over and over again that parents should get involved in kids lives. It has been proven to be the best technique to get the best out of kids. This is evidently needed for the purpose of mining and nurturing every bit of their innate potential.
No doubt our involvement seeks to provide the lead, guide, and chaperone, in the way kids should go. The whole essence understandably is to make them familiar with the terrain of life just like a duck take to water.
To a greater extent our children’s success or otherwise depends on the quality of time, resources, and energy, dissipated to harness their abilities to productive ventures.
Our involvement in their lives gives us inroad to their heart to connect with their dreams and desires in lives. While some of us see involvement as one of the guiding principles to reinforce positive behaviors in kids, still I see many abusing this to mean doing it for the child. This is the crux and the heart of this article. Please pay attention.
However sacrosanct the principle of involvement is it should not be seen to be an experience that is beyond human flaws, defects, and imperfections, especially when it is seen or seems to suppress or suspend kids initiatives. Reason I want us to discuss this day how our genuine intentions of involvement could be mistaken for over-functioning, invading, and encroaching their innate territory and at the end of it all it spells doom for our precious kids.
the great expectation is to launch out adjusted adults ready to take up the world and not the adults that have grown up with entitlement mentality. These children will not be under our roofs for life. We’d have to let go at one point when the stage is ripe. By this time no one can hold them back. Not even the parental love, compassion, daddy’s or mom’s act of endless benevolence will be soothing enough to trade off that long awaited moment. They will leave one day.
We erroneously fall into this trap of excesses of involvement simply because we often see the child the way we were when we were young at their age. Our worldview is shrouded in mysteries of sort and we are ready to use same perspective to grow them. We see suspicions and distrusts around us. Even we get to the level of doing what they can do at their relevant appropriate age for them mostly. Not discounting the risks associated with our environment as a result of the inherited socialization nevertheless, ours is to create safe environments for them to converse, explore, and possibly scrutinize such with the aim of having a safer platform of expression.
Please think with me as I explain few nuggets on stages to exercise cautions as our precious kids grow up.
- Examining. Every task given to kids requires close monitoring but we often inadvertently mistakenly use this to gauge the level of their excellence as against their peers. We at times go nuts, over analyzing every cough, twist and turn. I urge us to refrain from this and just balance the job. Evey child’s gotten their speed.
- Correcting. This is stage where we may be tilting to being obsessive as parents. Reason being that parents want the best for their children. It is possible kids may find it difficult to comprehend with the instructions on how to accomplish a task given by parents but we must allow them to fashion out their permissive methods they can easily adapt to. The purpose afterall remains to get the job done. This isn’t to condone an act of laziness though. Let’s watch this keenly.
- Shielding. We soon come to their aid from making reasonable risk. But they need to experience appropriate level of risk and failure in order to mature in a healthy way. Otherwise we will be progressing brazenly in error of preparing the path for them instead of kids for the path. Example given, we should introduce them early enough to cooking, going to the market, and engaging in a moderate freedom of association but under appropriate supervision.
- Guessing. It is wrong to get suspicion over what kids are innocent of. Where this normally takes place is the adolescent stage. Entrying adolescence has no general rule as to the age. Some enter at early age while majority at preteen. Adequate parenting knowledge is required to unravel this because certain behavioral traits will be noticed and that shouldn’t mean waywardness. Savvy lifestyles and different vocabulary soon replaced their innocence. I have seen an eight year girl entrying adolescence early enough but unknown to parents they felt she’s been obdurate in her attitude. Thanks for timely intervention that neutralized their fear. Parents be careful. This unfounded opinions can breed distrusts, wariness, and lack of confidence in our parental acumen.
Here’s my thought. Why not engage kids and determine what they mostly care about life, then offer guidance. Patience is equally needed from us which we are often guilty of. We want quick compliance for us to have peace. This won’t always happen.