Nothing settles conflict wholeheartedly in any institution other than a deliberate ability to discern the fact, the reality, and truth with the motive to reason along and come to a definite positive conclusion.
As mankind we are selfish, self centered, and egoistical. This ultimately causes us at times to be thoughtless about other people’s opinion. It cuts across our daily lives.
Parenting assignment can be possessive and intriguing when it comes to who calls the shots between the couples and this naturally leads to disagreement on how to choose the best way to raise the kids with
This discrepancy however isn’t limited to the biological parents alone but with every institution saddled with the responsibility of caregiving. Truth is we are born with latent ideas, creativities, and solutions, thereby making us to always naturally want to be in charge even when those problems solving attributes we claim we have would proffer little or no solution to the problem at hand
while it is equally characteristically permissive for couples to have disagreements on issues and such could go unnoticed but same cannot be said of dissents that border on parenting. Postnatal practices are obviously cut off. One of the proofs here is the open display of disobedience by the kids involved against either dad or mum.
In this caregiving mess unfavorable parent is labeled bad cop depending on whose side the pendulum swings while favorable one is tagged good cop.
I charge you this day dear parent once you noticed this anomalies please don’t take it with flippancy before the children you were existing as couples. Kids will only begin to play the parent versus parent with the purpose aim of diverting the struggle away from them and their conducts and make the issues out of the parents. Please be alive!
Please check the issues mostly involved here; choice of friendship, discipline/punishment measures, bedtime, chores, TV time, substance abuse, tantrum, laziness, weekly allowance , just name them…. you’d hardly find any to the benefit of the parents upon compliance. None! so why the rift? Kids will naturally seize this golden opportunity and explore the variances to the fullest as this may lead to assault deficiency.
Dear parent do not get me wrong please the focus here is not to shift blame or take side, but to help us lead the kids well. When couples are at loggerheads the whole house is in disarray. I wouldn’t want us to over stretch who’s more strict or less. Strictness does not solve parenting problems in isolation of conducive learning environment and how congruent, consistent, and consonant is our behavioral attitude in the way we lead these children towards becoming better?
Ladies and gentlemen, I am not claiming to have all answers to the problems at hand but my wife and I had to come to a conclusion on what do we really want and how it will benefit the children and not anyone of us when we encountered this problem in our parenting journey. There’s no competition here. We had issues on this years back and we couldn’t settle this until we explored the ability of our inner strengths and inner energies to connect with knowledge collaboration, then we knew we were sincerely heading no where except in a wrong direction.
please pay attention to the points below as I take you through few of many of the ways out of this inherent intra family parenting wrangling as experienced by caregivers
Keep in mind the kids temperament in mind. You cannot manage someone you haven’t studied and comprehended. Children have different personalities as they grow up. Our leadership prowess is most effective when we put their make up in mind. This will empower us for effective discipline accordingly. Communicate same to all the children to be conscious of their temperaments and not to break each others spirit.
Kindly endeavor to take the issue at hand from a common point of agreement. Here we put their passion, talents, gifts, knack, abilities, peace of mind, expertise, and their general vision in life. This is needed in order for either of the parents to be removed from the picture of disagreement
What is the motive behind these parenting variances. Efforts must be made by parents to ensure their personal emotional infractions are not brought here. A motive check will strike the balance and help each other filter through unhealthy motivations. Always ensure that the best ideas and suggestions win not minding whose they are.
Decide on what is most important and what’s least or less important for the family. Choose the battle carefully and identify the value systems of discipline, integrity, love, tolerance, dignity, self worth, confidence, self restraints, etc to apply for appropriate social order
Think of the common goals for the kids not yours! Make the learning style flexible. Always ensure instructions are being passed unto the kid by taking into consideration of actual notice of the child as against the mental notice we are used to giving them.
reinforcing, influencing, and inspiring them with positive behavioral attitude is best achieved when they see the parents as one with a strong positive voice in the way they handle them. Some of the troubled leaders today are products of troubled home who were sincerely raised and wired by sincerely naive parents who were only zealots but not armed with relevant uptodate knowledge of parenting.
Dear parent these and more my family applied and we are better off it now. Let us make parenting less a job and more a joy