By far one of the greatest challenges facing the institution of family is the inability of fathers to identify their priority, place, and assignment in the home.
For so long in our lifetime in this part of the world too much responsibilities and expectations had been placed on Mothers in the home. No thanks to the deficient beliefs system, cultures, and traditions that have stayed with us for centuries. Most children in Africa- Nigeria most specially grow up to know Mothers as the main pillars in raising children in the home. Not discounting Fathers financial responsibilities in the home notwithstanding, the clinical and perfect execution of these duties are shouldered by the mothers. A sharpened cutlass cannot cut grass on its own without being administered by someone.
Our belief in Africa remains that everything in Parenting and Family in raising quality children started and ended with Mothers such that they receive all the goal of the outcome of bad parenting on the child. Sad.
I see in my generation Fathers who have strategically positioned and measured their relevance in the home on account of how much bills they pick. Some of us Fathers are so poor that the only thing we have is money. We are not wealthy in the timeless contents in connecting to the heart of a child.
I have equally seen Fathers in my life time who thrive hugely on the blame game over any prevalent social infractions in their Children. I have also seen a mixture of authoritarian and permissive Fathers who are never involved in positive reinforcement of good behavior and values of the child but are ever available to punish any erring child at a given opportunity.
May I remind such Fathers that Children in this type of family only see a ‘strict Father. They do not see a tender, loving, caring, and compassionate Father who is available, not only to be part of their lives but to help them through their mistakes and imperfections with a view to providing a guiding path for them to grow. Please flow with me as I give below few of the indispensable roles Fathers must play in bringing up the child.
HEAD OF THE FAMILY. We all know this but we are flippant about it. The order of the spirituality and God’s kingdom cannot be sidelined if roles of Fathers are to be put in positive perspectives. The concept of Father is from the Greek word- which means Nourisher, Protector, or Upholder. A Father is the one who imparts life, and he’s committed to it. Fathers are the spiritual representative of God in the home. Fathers are invaluable trees, with leafy arms serving as protection and lifted up in supplication to God for their fruits. Fathers are the deep roots that suck and preserve nutrients from the earth such that their fruits (children) lack no values. They are in and out of season. Fathers next time you hear the word – head of the family.
Fathers are the vision carriers. They conceive, think, understand, and birth or for the members of the family. The vision for your family is to be sought from above – God and run it with members. Your personal vision must not run against God’s. Many are the wishes of men but only the purpose of God shall stand. The vision God gives us that one that unlocks the gratitude of humanity. Not for personal ego.
Being the head is that you are the role model to your children. Male children want to be like you and female children look to see their Dads’ character in the lives of their future husbands. Very child wants to behave , act, relate, and express like their Dad at a level. I ask how quality are our spiritual, emotional and intellectual content in being that Father who is ready and willing to achieve that feat of raising godly seeds, saviors, and leaders for God in this time and season of our great Nation – Nigeria.
Dear Fathers think of the above attributes and find reason to restrategize, restructure, and reconstruct your Fatherly role for posterity sake.