Category Archives: Fatherhood

HOW CAN I RAISE MY SON TO BECOME GOOD HUSBAND AND GOOD FATHER?

Participant: Akinola, please, how can I raise my son to become a good father and good husband ?

Me: Sir, by deliberately raising humans in him. The humanity in him will make him to be good father and good husband and many more.

I am used to the above question from parents and we must be careful not to fall into the performance trap of making ‘raising boys to become good fathers or good husbands’ the focus. No, it is not. Raising sons to be good fathers is just the tip of the iceberg, the real deal is below the surface.

For instance, it would be easy to think that the Banking industry is all about financing, interest rates, credit facility and accounting. While these elements are significant, they are only the tip of the iceberg. What makes the Banking industry is the word TRUST. It’s stuff below the surface. The lesson here is; our sons must first become humans(by growing with ingredents below the surface) before they become good fathers or husbands.(tip)

It is what is below the surface that will either sink or support the tip. Only humans make the best husbands and fathers

Being humans will make them excellent in all facets of life; singlehood, career, and relationships, not just in fatherhood.

We must nurture them with good values which will later validate the ultimate purpose of being humans.
The skill, character, and charisma needed are huge during their formative years. parents must be ready to feed them with these qualities unequivocally

I encourage someone here to start with this simple assessment with his/her son:

Guide him to take a minute and think about his own character. Ask him, does he have a strong character.? On a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being the strongest) tell him to rate himself in the following areas:

Self-discipline( ability to do what is right when your parents/teachers/adults are not there)

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10

Pay attention to whatever outcome the assessment produces.

This is the starting point.

Thank you.

#legacyhut
#legacy
#fatherhood
#parentingwithakinropo
#boy

 

This is for fathers

I’d like to share a few things with you that my friend who came visiting today on a business call shared with me

The guy is a workaholic who sacrifices all to give his best for the family. Our discussion was a no hold barred. Despite the resounding business success he realised he hasn’t developed himself enough as he’d because of business engagement. He knew money is coming but at a heavy cost to his personal development.

I can relate with his position. I was here before; there were times in my life that it was all about making money, money, money and nothing else mattered but my bank account.

Some of us fathers are still here. We fail to tend to ourselves in personal development and eventually are unable to really serve our household at a LEVEL.

We are starving intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. We fake it for some moments but eventually run out of gas. We create little or no time to fill up our gas; we are emotionally and intellectually starving

Self-leadership involves a deep knowledge of self, a set of morally high values that define who you are, self-control and a commitment to the cause of the family

Stream 2 of The Pathway To Fatherhood course (PTF) will start on Tuesday, August 23, 2022, where we will be revealing to the participants dimensions of personal development needed by fathers to make their fathering easy.

Please, stay tuned for detail and save this date

Fathers need to FEED themselves so they can feed their household well.

Thank you.

#legacyhut
#parentingwithakinropo

“I kept the dogs, but I lost my boys”

We rounded off the maiden edition of the FATHERHOOD FOR FRESHERS course (FFF) Friday, last week with a parting gift to the participants from one of our learning philosophies; “Pocket change”.

Please, read with me :

Out of history comes the story of a preacher whose two sons talked him into taking in a stray dog.

The dog was black except for three distinctive white hairs on his tail. A day came, they saw an advert in a newspaper for a lost dog which fit the dog’s description perfectly, including the white hairs.

With the connivance of his boys, the preacher carefully pulled out the three white hairs. The owner later heard this preacher had a dog that fit his dog’s description and travelled over to look for it. Upon the arrival of the owner, the dog showed every sign of recognizing him. The owner wanted to take the dog home, but he hesitated.

The preacher then asked; “didn’t you say your dog had three white hairs on his tail?” The owner was forced to leave when he couldn’t find the hairs. Those young boys watched the dad’s deception at work. Later, the preacher wrote;

“I kept the dogs, but I lost my boys”

The names of these boys were infamous criminals as adults – Frank and Jesse James.

During their childhood, their dad was not able to positively influence them, regardless of how good his sermons were. Why? There was a hole in his pocket and he lost all of his change unknown to him because his sons still hung around him but with no respect whatsoever for him.

Pls, keep this in mind as fresh fathers; there is a difference between being liked as a friend and being followed as a father. If kids don’t respect you, you won’t lead them

The next Fatherhood For Freshers course comes up in July, 2022

Thank you to all the participants who shared their life with our faculty.

#legacyhut

I wrote here 5 years ago that one of the greatest sources of my curriculum in parenting is hearing and listening to children around me

So, this was once played out this morning when I was taking my son to school

While in the car, my son reminded me of their (himself and sister) itinerary for tomorrow -Saturday and there is a particular activity he’s been trying smuggling in but I resisted knowing full well how busy the day would be for me.

He is someone who wouldn’t give in easily on his desires; a strength I am always not comfortable with sometimes because of the huge commitment such places on us.

He brought the issue to the fore and I just maintained a straight face; “my guy, you can’t win this, my schedule for tomorrow is filled up and there is no way I’d accept that” I replied 😒 .

At this moment, his skills kicked in, toasting started, prostrating even in the car. I remained unperturbed until this;

“Dad, do not think I am unaware of the sacrifices you make, I promise you I will also sacrifice more than you do for my son,” he said.

This statement struck a chord with me.

Boom!!! 💣it calmed the frayed nerve.

Every cell within me responded in agreement with that request immediately. I replied to him; I will think about it. He knew I have accepted the offer. 🙂

It is a statement from a grateful heart that acknowledges the sweat over him and have also decided to keep the LEGACY by offering the same to his children. I am so happy.

This is what I look for. I do not want; “dad, please, “I will do whatever you want me to do” or one of those stress-induced promises

The import of this is that whatever moment we share with our children we must never forget the sight of how to convert the experience into a teachable moment. That’s the goal.

The goal isn’t immediate obedience but how they can internalise the experience

Let us pay attention to these guys. They are learning.

Thank you and do have a great weekend 😀✊

Akinropo

#Legacyhut