Author Archives: parenmark


“I kept the dogs, but I lost my boys”

We rounded off the maiden edition of the FATHERHOOD FOR FRESHERS course (FFF) Friday, last week with a parting gift to the participants from one of our learning philosophies; “Pocket change”.

Please, read with me :

Out of history comes the story of a preacher whose two sons talked him into taking in a stray dog.

The dog was black except for three distinctive white hairs on his tail. A day came, they saw an advert in a newspaper for a lost dog which fit the dog’s description perfectly, including the white hairs.

With the connivance of his boys, the preacher carefully pulled out the three white hairs. The owner later heard this preacher had a dog that fit his dog’s description and travelled over to look for it. Upon the arrival of the owner, the dog showed every sign of recognizing him. The owner wanted to take the dog home, but he hesitated.

The preacher then asked; “didn’t you say your dog had three white hairs on his tail?” The owner was forced to leave when he couldn’t find the hairs. Those young boys watched the dad’s deception at work. Later, the preacher wrote;

“I kept the dogs, but I lost my boys”

The names of these boys were infamous criminals as adults – Frank and Jesse James.

During their childhood, their dad was not able to positively influence them, regardless of how good his sermons were. Why? There was a hole in his pocket and he lost all of his change unknown to him because his sons still hung around him but with no respect whatsoever for him.

Pls, keep this in mind as fresh fathers; there is a difference between being liked as a friend and being followed as a father. If kids don’t respect you, you won’t lead them

The next Fatherhood For Freshers course comes up in July, 2022

Thank you to all the participants who shared their life with our faculty.




I enjoyed this movie; ‘PASSING’ (PG-13) just now.

It’s the story of Clare, a black woman who passes for a white woman during the 1920s while she was living in New York.

Though the movie is an adaptation of Rebecca Hall’s novel about a woman who secretly lived a lie simply because she wanted to enjoy the perks of being white and didn’t want to endure the treatment minority received a hundred years back.

The burden the character Clare carries inside her becomes too heavy than what she could imagine. Everywhere she goes (friends, lounges, stores), her hidden reality unknown to her white husband John but known to her friend Irene, stares her in the face.

Her undoing is She longs for a reality that is not fully in her grasp and wants to lead a life of integrity, even if this will mean giving up her duplicity past

The lesson I learned in this movie is to live your true Identity and honesty.

It’s a great conversation starter to teach ourselves and those we lead on true identity.

I also draw wisdom from the agelong Yorùbá parlance; ‘Bí ‘ró bá lo l’ógún odún; òdodo á ba lésèkesè’ (if a lie travels for decades it only takes a day for the truth to outsmart it )

Please, search for this on NETFLIX. It’s a must-see movie

It’s a great way to start the week. ✌️ 😀

Thank you.


This moment can be tough

If you have lived any number of years on earth, you know that life is
full of ups and downs. That’s a fact.
We all experience difficult times in our lives at any inevitable moment.

Some may be experiencing the death of a loved one, while some may be
dealing with a job loss or adjusting to a life change. We do have them
in different degrees at a moment.

But It is only on rare occasions that you see people experiencing common
and collective pains in the hands of a few who has made people pawns in
their bid to perpetuate wickedness. This is what many of us in Nigeria
has been encountering in the past month with no respite in sight

The fuel and energy crises amid other challenges we have to deal with
are traumatizing.
I identify with you. We are in it together.

All I can tell you is to encourage yourself and I have done to remain
relaxed; while this last.
It’s a phase, it shall pass. I am sending you a load of hugs.

I host a free parenting assessment session every Tuesday in 2022.
Please, do reach out to the office should you want to be part of this
free session

Thank you
Akinropo Akinola


Generation Z

This is the generation of the society that neither many of our parents prepared for nor our government at all levels deployed educational curriculum to mitigate against the myriads of challenges the generation would face 20 – 40 years ago.

We were just on autorun. We deal with situations as they come. This won’t deliver the desired result for our children. It has never worked.

But these kids need us to be intentional about equipping them to navigate ever-increasing social ills that are staring at them in the face. They need us to prepare them BOLDLY for the future, to explore new places, skin their knees, so they are not clamped by the fear and anxiety as they enter teenage and adulthood.

We neither parent for today nor yesterday. This has been my agelong philosophy.

We failed to script an educational vision for Nigerian kids decades ago and we are painfully paying hugely for it now. SAD

Ever wondered about the unending thuggery, rituals, killings, and maiming among our children across schools and homes?

So for the next FOUR Mondays beginning from today; January 31, 2022, I shall be devoting my teaching from the stable of #legacyhut on our teenagers. Topics and questions will be entertained in this session.

Please, I will implore we forward our questions to my DM before the session starts so we can deal with them robustly in the session.

See you at 5:pm.

Thank you.


I wrote here 5 years ago that one of the greatest sources of my curriculum in parenting is hearing and listening to children around me

So, this was once played out this morning when I was taking my son to school

While in the car, my son reminded me of their (himself and sister) itinerary for tomorrow -Saturday and there is a particular activity he’s been trying smuggling in but I resisted knowing full well how busy the day would be for me.

He is someone who wouldn’t give in easily on his desires; a strength I am always not comfortable with sometimes because of the huge commitment such places on us.

He brought the issue to the fore and I just maintained a straight face; “my guy, you can’t win this, my schedule for tomorrow is filled up and there is no way I’d accept that” I replied 😒 .

At this moment, his skills kicked in, toasting started, prostrating even in the car. I remained unperturbed until this;

“Dad, do not think I am unaware of the sacrifices you make, I promise you I will also sacrifice more than you do for my son,” he said.

This statement struck a chord with me.

Boom!!! 💣it calmed the frayed nerve.

Every cell within me responded in agreement with that request immediately. I replied to him; I will think about it. He knew I have accepted the offer. 🙂

It is a statement from a grateful heart that acknowledges the sweat over him and have also decided to keep the LEGACY by offering the same to his children. I am so happy.

This is what I look for. I do not want; “dad, please, “I will do whatever you want me to do” or one of those stress-induced promises

The import of this is that whatever moment we share with our children we must never forget the sight of how to convert the experience into a teachable moment. That’s the goal.

The goal isn’t immediate obedience but how they can internalise the experience

Let us pay attention to these guys. They are learning.

Thank you and do have a great weekend 😀✊